Denise Chavez
Profile
Slowly I become more attuned to the river. She is unpredictable
and strong, gentle and loving. The last days pass full of wonder,
indescribable joy, broken now and again with sudden paralyzing
anguish. I am overwhelmed by the smallness and fragility of our
raft in this vast space . . .
La Raza
I may be the only Mexican rafting the Colorado. Everyone else
is at Disneyland or in Las Vegas. I ask Wade and Doug, another
guide, how many ethnic people raft the canyon. Few, they both
say. I wonder why? Is it the cost? It is prohibitive, but not
for all. It’s more than that . . .
We are a people who want comfort, manageable thrills, self-made
happiness. Our blood runs too deeply down the muddy river. We
were and are its slaves, its laborers, its workers, its drones.
The memory of hardship is still too much to bear. Our ancestors
tried to conquer this river, but they turned back too soon. On
land the Spanish ruled, but in this hallowed place they met their
match. Conquistador Row is impressive, its high walls a temple
to the power of nature. Inside these sheer cliffs every man and
woman is insignificant, how much more so those already trampled
by the road. Better to go to Las Vegas where at least the odds
are higher, where we can take a chance and be assured a spin.
Ruth Kirk
Profile
People say the Grand Canyon makes you feel humble,
feel small. You’re nothing compared to so much nature. But I’ve
known that for decades . . .
What I feel is exultation, not humility. All that’s needed amid
the rock and the silence is to hear a canyon wren sing, surely
a proclamation of more than real estate, or to fill eyes and soul
with the unending colors and forms of canyon walls. It’s easy
to slip into river life without clocks or parking lots or decisions
beyond how far up a side canyon to hike . . .
What puzzles me is why floating this river should be so compelling.
I have known awe elsewhere, sensed other shivers of reverence
dance along my spine. Why now is the canyon living up to its reputation?
What is its magic?
Time clearly is an ingredient here, perhaps the main one. But
how greatly canyon time contrasts with the span of a human life
and with the busy-ness of our days. The canyon’s clock is geological.
Fine particles pressed together form the sandstone, shale, and
limestone of these walls. Fine particles suspended in the river
carve ever deeper. Fine particles stick to my notebook, bedding,
lotion bottle, skin. And there’s a universality in this. The world
over, creeks, streams, rivers, and winds carry fine particles
that wear our Earth’s surface smooth yet also, when deposited,
provide the material for new contours. Before Glen Canyon Dam
wrought its change, the river swept five tons of suspended
particles per second through the Grand Canyon. The water
ran red, colorado. Now sediments settle out behind the
dam and the river flows green . . .
Impatience and transience permeate today’s Western culture. The
canyon offers antidote, and that — I think — is why its walls
are so compelling. To float this great stone gash is to reconnect
psychic landscape with physical landscape, and experience crescendo.
Barbara Earl Thomas
Profile
My former life seems nearly unimaginable but I can’t quite shake
the feeling that I’m not supposed to be here. Sheer cliffs, canyon
walls, whitewater rafting —my mother would not be happy about
this. This is especially true given that nine years ago she and
my father lost their lives when their small boat capsized during
a routine outing. I’ve been terrified for months since agreeing
to do this trip. It’s not just my parents’ accident or the trip
itself that has me going . . .
By the third day I’ve taken up the lead position on the raft.
I want to look inside the thing that scares me. I strap a small
tape player to my body to record our voices as we go through the
rapids. I will listen to it later, to decipher a mystery, and
it will sound like passion — or sex — captured on tape . . .
We hit the rapids. The water drops and the boat plunges. Navigating
huge rocks, we bounce inexplicably from crest to crest. The waves
arc, we go under. Icy water walls hit, break, and pound us — my
internal organs are rearranged. Hysterical laughter seizes me
with such intensity that it makes everyone laugh. Whether a gift
or a curse, I am keenly aware of the role chance plays, which
makes me doubly thankful when we pop up out the other side . .
.
By the sixth day I’ve hiked over hill and cliff. I’ve taken on
the waves and gone under the water. I’ve accepted help and forgiven
myself human weakness. I’ve survived beauty and peril to see the
world in canyon light, only to learn how many small but important
things in my life I’ve left — out of fear — undone. I am mindful
of my mother’s voice in canyon wind, whispering safekeeping. To
make peace with fear, I turn it inside out. It’s the best I can
do. It’s more than I believed possible.
Linda Ellerbee
Profile
I am drawn to the woods by this challenge, and by solitude, but
most of all by beauty. Every year, beauty becomes more important,
some magic vitamin, a necessary tonic without which body and soul
might wither. This is what the woods and, possibly, cancer have
given me. But it’s been five years. Life speeds up. Flowers are
passed, unsmelled. Chances go untaken. That’s partly why this
trip appealed. Two hundred twenty-six miles of river. No telephone.
No computer. Nothing but flowers and chances. I come to the canyon
thinking of it as woods with no trees . . .
Weeks later, back in New York City, a phone rings. A woman, someone
I wrote a story about, has died from breast cancer. It was the
treatment that killed her. I celebrate her courage, mourn her
death, and, sorry to say, am relieved it wasn’t me. The fear is
always there. Although I try to live as if the cancer were never
coming back, I know all the nasty little numbers; half the women
who get this disease are dead in ten years. I put down the phone,
tuck away the fear, and go back to work . . .
But at night, lying in bed, troubled by death and overwhelmed
by life, I find I can shut my eyes and whisper. That’s all I have
to do . . .
"Take me there," I whisper.
The magic begins. Gold light slides down a red canyon wall. A
green river sings. I am a shining thing in a shining place, far
from here.
Kathleen Jo Ryan
Profile
On an outcropping of rock I sit snuggled in an oversized wool
coat as a brisk fall wind drowns out the sounds of people and
cars. I have returned once more to the South Rim of the Grand
Canyon to feel the space and magnitude and to contemplate the
perspective before I turn in the final elements of this book.
I am overcome with a tingling sense of gratitude and blessing
that I am about to complete this inspired project, a vivid dream
for nine years . . .
In addition to doing all the original photography, I am the project
producer and secured the funding for all project expenses prior
to publication, selected writers, and organized all logistics.
I did this for the "risk-reward ratio": the higher the
risk the higher the opportunity for reward. For a project of this
complexity, the risk is great, and my reward lies in ensuring
the integrity and quality of the images and words and creating
an enduring published book. I am responsible for selecting each
of the women writers whose work fills these pages. My selection
process was, as always, subjective. After researching each writer’s
work, I considered how her writing style moved me visually. Of
the sixteen writers whose work is published here, I previously
knew only a few. The rest I wrote to or phoned, shared my vision
with, and invited to participate . . .
I asked each contributor to share her personal journey, whether
an experience of healing, exuberance, revelation, awakening, or
something else. The resulting essays reflect each woman’s passage—each
essay is as individual as each woman. Thus, this book is about
taking risks; trusting oneself and trusting others; following
instincts and intuition; and summoning courage to face fears and
buried feelings, longings, or desires. And seeking answers.